My name is Meranda and I was a teen mom……………..
My parents never really spoke to me about sex. My step-mom bought my step-brother and I books on sex, puberty, and our bodies; that was her answer. I moved in with my mother when I was 13 and she was the type of parent that thought being open and honest about everything was best, including inappropriate sexual stories. We never discussed anything more than, ‘I better not get pregnant or she’d make me have an abortion.’
I started seeing my son’s father who was 19. In the beginning of our relationship we didn’t have sex. I waited until after my 14th birthday to become sexually active with him. I thought he was the love of my life; he made me feel safe and secure, and told me he wanted me to have his baby that we could be a family. My childhood was far from great, my mother leaving before I was two, I was molested by age three, my father was an alcoholic who rarely showed any love and my step-mother thought her son could do no wrong. I wanted a family, I wanted to have a baby that would love me unconditionally and I had already been caring for my younger brother and sister while my mom was depressed and on drugs, so I thought how hard could it really be?
I got pregnant in February, when I told my son’s father he panicked and wanted me to have an abortion. He pushed and punched me in the stomach; he was worried that he would be charged with statutory rape. My mom moved in with her boyfriend, leaving me alone. I was barely 15; I had no way to pay bills, the electricity got turned off, then the house was condemned and we were evicted. I was alone, pregnant, scared, and living with different people. Eventually I got my own apartment. I dropped out of Jackson High school and started attending an Alternative school where they had daycare for teen parents. My son’s father and I started arguing a lot, it became physical and I went to live in the shelter. Being 16 and in the shelter was very scary. I didn’t want my son living there, so I let him stay with his dad while I got on my feet.
I moved into subsidized housing and got my son back. I had another baby boy; his father was an alcoholic and abusive too. So there I was raising two babies on my own as a teen mom. I eventually got a good job and dropped of school so that I could work to support my boys; but my job covered the costs for me to take my GED.
I found out I was pregnant again. My boyfriend at the time gave me a STD. When I was 5 months pregnant my water broke because of the infection. My son was born three months premature weighing 2 lbs 4 oz. He only lived for 4 months and 10 days; he never came home from the hospital. From that day forward I have been very careful about what I do; but that will never bring my son back.
I have gone to college and now obtained a decent job. My children and I still struggle; we’ve even had to live in a hotel before.
My oldest son is now 15. His father passed away a few years ago, believe me it has been far from easy. The child that I had when I was a teen because I wanted unconditional love resents me for the things he has went through.
Sex is not worth it. Everyone wants to love and be loved, but if you truly want to be able to love a child, then wait until you can give them the opportunities that they deserve.